Monthly Archives: September 2016

MMM Number Ten Three Two

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Yes, it’s time for Motivational Music Monday once again… it’s #32, to be exact… which also means we’re at week #32 in the year, so that means there’s only about 12 weeks until Christmas, or 87 days, or 8 more paydays!  Holy cow, time flies!  And only 20 more days until the child turns 12!!  OMG!!  (See how my mind works?  No worries… James and AJ are used to it.) Anyway, go let James know which song is making you happy this week!

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But first… Bellingham Bay Marathon was last weekend in which both James and I participated.  I did drop down to a 5K with all things considered, but it was great to get out and race.  I needed it.  Lots and lots of work for me to do before the Tulsa Half in November.

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And super proud of the child for hitting a new PR in his timed mile yesterday!  That is Daddy’s shout-out this week, but I wanted AJ to know how pleased I am with his progress.  You are going to go far, my child… probably even 26.2-miles far one day!!  😀

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Now on to the music…

James has chosen a Maroon 5 song, so I thought I’d follow suit.  With a twist.  If you know me, you know I love all things Michael Bublé when it comes to music.  Sometimes when I’m out on a run, I’ll only listen to his songs.  One may wonder how a crooner can get you through long runs, but trust me, he gets the blood pumping.  All you have to do is lose yourself in the music.

A few years ago, he created a concert DVD called Caught In The Act, and of course I own it.  I own all things Michael Bublé.  A shirt.  I don’t own a shirt.  I think I need a MB shirt… then my collection would be complete.  Anyway… this little clip is him giving pop music a try… he’s such an entertainer.

But hey, if you want the real thing, here you go.  Adam Levine has a tendency to get the blood pumping too.  Enjoy!

In the words of the great Chaka Khan, Tell Me Something Good!  Have you been having a great week?!

50 in 50

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Thank you to everyone.  Your amazing support and loving comments have helped me tremendously in my most recent struggle to deal with my mother’s death. You have no idea just how much you’ve helped.

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And thanks to James for all his loving support, help, and the kind words he has written.  You can read about it here.

It’s a race weekend.  In the words of Queen’s Freddie Mercury… The Show Must Go On…

Watch out Bellingham… here we come!

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Grief

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They say there are 5 stages of grief… denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  In the past 24 hours, I have experienced all these stages many times over, sometimes changing emotions every 5 minutes.  I get extremely angry, and then depressed, and then I’m accepting of what happened, and then I get angry again.  It seems they have left out guilt as a stage, although I believe each of us, with the loss of a loved one, feels some sense of guilt.  And forgetfulness… I think forgetfulness should be a stage.  Or maybe that’s just a side effect.

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You see, early Wednesday morning, my mother passed away.  She was diagnosed 2 weeks ago with a GI bleed, refused to get it treated, and it ended her life.

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My sister, me, Mom, my brother standing — 1971 or 1972?

I’m angry… she didn’t have to die.  She could’ve been treated at the initial onset of this, and by now, she’d be at home and recovered, stronger and better off for getting every single test known to man performed on her.  Her heart was always strong.  It was never about her heart. She literally bled to death.

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Mom — 1975

I’m depressed… this one is obvious.  I will never see my mother again… at least in this life.  I will never talk to her again.  She won’t be there to reminisce with, go over memories with, share life stories with.  She will never see her grandson turn into the amazing person he is becoming. (And now, I’m back to angry).

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My sister Angela, Mom, Me — 1993

Guilt… this is a hard one because I couldn’t do anything to help her.  I was powerless because she still was a competent adult.  Only when she was too weak to get up could I get her some help, but by then, it was too late.  She had lost too much blood.

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Mom and AJ

Acceptance… she knowingly chose this path.  I knew it would kill her the minute we left the hospital the first time.  I had to accept that this was her life, this was what she wanted, I had to respect her wishes… I had no choice.  I accept that she is gone now by her choice, but again, this leads back to anger.  How could she be so selfish?  Or am I the one being selfish for wanting her to be alive?

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I woke up this morning feeling empty, like part of my soul was gone.  The loneliness set in, because I realized she was no longer there.  Then I opened my eyes and saw James lying next to me.  And after I woke my son up for school, I realized… I am truly blessed.

Losing someone you love will send you on an emotional roller coaster from hell.  I imagine this ride will last for quite some time, but I am thankful to have my family to help me get through it. I’d like to share a memory of my mother with you.  She was a great piano player.  I’m sure my love of all things music stemmed from her.  She would play the piano, and my sister and I would sit with her and sing all the songs she played.  It is one of the happiest memories I have of my childhood.  The following is one of our favorite songs that we loved to sing together while my mother played.  If you get a chance, take a listen… it just might make you smile.  This is what we did for fun in the olden days.  😀

As well… in honor of my mother and for Motivational Music Monday, I will choose one of her favorite songs.  She used to call this her theme song.

Please let your loved ones know just how much they mean to you today… tomorrow may very well be too late.

Friday Thoughts

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Hi!

big-teeth-smiley-emoticonI’m feeling quite overwhelmed at the moment so I haven’t been posting as regularly as I would like, but hey, life gets in the way of our blogging sometimes, doesn’t it.

Thank you to everyone with your kind thoughts for my mother.  She’s still very weak, but she’s a tough old gal and I’m sure will be fine in a week or so.  She still refuses to go to the doctor, but I am accepting and respecting her wishes.  (As if I have a choice, hehe).  So… moving on…

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Work:  A lovely little Mookee pigeon was brought to the facility this past week.  Mookees are actually domestic show pigeons originating from India.  Apparently this little guy was abandoned (dumped) and was just wandering around a construction site.  I’m so relieved that the people recognized him as an “out of place” pet and cared enough to want to save him.  He is such a sweetie.  I love him; I want to keep him.  He sits on my shoulder, coos in my ear, and gives me gentle pecks on the cheek.  I just love my job.

Oh, also, this was found hanging on a bush… not a tree, a bush:

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Can you tell what it is?  It’s a hornet’s nest!!  A big, huge, ginormous hornet’s nest!  Bigger than a basketball!  I had actually never seen one that big before, so I’m sure you can imagine the words that came out of my mouth.  James suggested we get a stick.  Ummm…. no.  But it is gone now, poor things.  If only they’d chosen a better place to build.

The 12th Man:  The American football season began last week, so I may throw some “Go ‘Hawks” in there every now and again to cheer on our beloved Seattle Seahawks.  As I live it, I don’t think much about it, but not everyone knows about The 12th Man.  The 12th man is actually considered to be the fans for 11-man sports teams.  In 1984, the Seattle Seahawks retired the #12 jersey in honor of their fans.  In 2003, they installed a huge flagpole at Century Link Field and started raising a giant flag with the number 12 on it to honor the fans.  This is when the earth moves in Seattle… literally.  You may see a lot of 12s on this site in the upcoming months as we Seattle fans take our job seriously. You can’t go anywhere in the Pacific Northwest without seeing a 12, including the Space Needle.  So in case you are wondering about the significance of the 12, there you have it!

Training:  Why, yes, I am, thank you.  Bellingham Bay race next weekend already.  My how time flies.  I don’t think I even put it on my sidebar.  At this point, I may just add my Tulsa race for November and be done with it, lol.

Motivational Music Monday:  Okay, so this is the real reason I’m here right now!  James posted a cool little ditty in honor of the opening week of football.  It’s the song that the Seahawks take the field to (yes, I dangled my participle and ended in a preposition, :D).  Anyway, to stick with his little theme…. nahhh…. I’m just going to stick to a common word… symphony. Or more specific, “Symphony of Destruction” by “Megadeth.”  Ohhh yeahhh… I do crunch too.

And that’s going to do it for me today!  I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Hell Week

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Just when you think you have it together, it all falls apart.  Okay, not really, but this has not been one my favorite weeks in the history of weeks.

School started!  Yay!!  AJ now has to get up at 6 a.m. as opposed to the normal noon he’s been used to all summer.  Mind you, he’s pretty much sound by 10 p.m., so it all evens out in the end. First day of school is always a little bit hairy as one needs to establish a whole brand new routine, and with him having to get up that much earlier makes it a bit difficult.  He’s adjusted well for the first 3 days, so I’m proud of him.  He’s growing up and accepting responsibility.

Speaking of growing up, he’s 5’5.5″ tall now and won’t turn 12 until next month.  He now takes a regular P.E. class and has to run a mile every day, then right afterwards has to walk home a mile.  Hmmmm…. there may eventually be potential for the child to start joining us in our 50 states quest.

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But the week doesn’t stop there with just new routines… noooo… my mother calls me soon after I drop AJ off for his first day and she needs to go to the ER because she’s throwing up blood.  After spending the entire day in the ER and after numerous tests, they wanted to keep her because her hematocrit was dropping, a sign of internal bleeding.  She refused.  Yep.  She outright refused.  I’m none too pleased with her.  So I’ve been dealing with that crap too.

And now I’m late for Motivational Music Monday.  Kinda like really late.  More like Motivational Music Friday.

Actually, this one isn’t all that “motivational,” it’s just fun and lighthearted, one that I really enjoy. And it’s from the Eighties… classic ’80s!  Love them ’80s songs!  Hope this takes you back to a happy place!

And if you haven’t seen, James gave a great recap of our most recent venture with the Hamster Endurance Run.  Go check it out.  He does a nice job of his recaps.

By the way, did I mention my remaining fish have survived the death tank?  All better now!  🙂

Happy Friday my friends!!  May you have a blessed weekend!!

Fall Already?

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I realized… ohhhh, probably last Friday… that I have a 10K at the end of this month, so it might behoove me to get out on the trail sometime really soon.  Mind you, I haven’t been sitting on my posterior this whole entire time… last week just so happened to have been filled with rainy days, so I kept my posterior inside on the treadmill.  Do you have any idea just how non-exciting writing about treadmill runs really is?  Not to the mention the pictures you would get:

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Borrrrring.  Yeah, that’s what the treadmill does for you… zaps all your creativity while you suffer endless minutes of mind-numbing drudgery.  But it has to be done, what can I say.

However, we got a break in the rain today, so out I went on the trail for a 5K.  And I saw this:

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Leaves on the ground!  Yes, I do believe autumn has begun here in the Pacific Northwest, if for no other reason than the week of rain we happened to have.  September is actually still supposed to be sunny here, with the rainy season not really starting until mid-to-late October, but things may be different this year… we’ll see.  I may not get my chance to go for the 50-mile bike ride to which I had given some serious thought.  Again… I guess we’ll see.  I do need to go tackle that dreadful hill though before winter just so I can get past it (and then probably follow that up with saying “never again”).

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I have to give a shout-out to the man in the above picture, in the orange shirt, bless him.  He’s probably 70 to 80 years old, and I see him out running every single day, just shuffling along. Sometimes alone.  Sometimes with his daughter.  Every.  Single.  Day.  He impresses the hell out of me.

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My picture… okay, AJ’s picture taken last week in Sequim, but this bear’s mannerism describes the people I’m admiring this week… fierce!

I would also like to give a shout-out to a blogger friend, “Lucy” from Losing Anonymously.  I started following her last year as she began on her healthy journey to lose weight and get in shape.  In that time, she lost 74 pounds and became a runner.  Today she completed her very first half-marathon, with a damn good time, I might add.  I am just thrilled for her.  She is proof-positive that with hard work and determination, one can achieve their goals.  Never give up… she never did.  She had personal challenges that she had to overcome, but she never quit.  She is truly an amazing person and such an inspiration.  Well done, “Lucy,” well done!!

‘Cause sometimes you just feel tired, you feel weak

And when you feel weak you feel like you want to just give up

But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength

And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up

And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you want to just fall flat on your face and collapse.

–Eminem, “Till I Collapse”

Hope you have a great week!!